Tag Archives: writing

February 24, 2015 · 9:16 am

Kill Your Thought Verbs, With Chuck Palahnuik

I’ve just discovered this “how to be a better writer” essay from Chuck Palahnuik: Nuts and Bolts, “Thought” Verbs. It’s a good essay: go read it.

He says, as a writing exercise, that you ought to go out and immediately throttle all our “thought” verbs: Thinks, Knows, Understands, Realizes, Believes, Wants, Remembers, Imagines, Desires…etc etc.

He says you should replace these “telling” verbs with “showing” explanations.

Instead of characters knowing anything, you must now present the details that allow the reader to know them.  Instead of a character wanting something, you must now describe the thing so that the reader wants it.

That is definitely a way to add some detail to your book, right?

Further, he says to not let your character be alone.

One of the most-common mistakes that beginning writers make is leaving their characters alone.  Writing, you may be alone.  Reading, your audience may be alone.  But your character should spend very, very little time alone.  Because a solitary character starts thinking or worrying or wondering.

Wilson, the ball from True enough. There’s not always much action that comes directly from “aloneness.” We don’t have many stories of just one person in the wilderness, and if they are, you’ve gotta get them a “Wilson” to talk to.

That’s mostly for the author’s benefit: we need someone to bounce all our character’s thoughts off of.

I recently edited a really fun YA witch novel-in-progress, and that was one of the things I told the author: “OMG, your character is always sleeping! Get her out of the house and doing something! Sitting in her room pouting, while very “teenagery,” is not action!”

So while I think there’s a lot to like in this essay, and it’s certainly a useful tool and good advice, I also want to point out that it’s not the end-all-be-all. If all authors everywhere followed this advice completely, a) books would get a lot wordier, b) we’d have a lot more authors who sound like Chuck Palahnuik, with his trademark rambling craziness, and c) we’d miss out on those stories where someone is alone: like the original “Castaway,” “Robinson Crusoe” –one of my favorites. Or when someone just feels really alone, like “The Perks of Being a Wallflower” or “Catcher in the Rye.”

So don’t go around striking out all your “thought” verbs: they are useful, too. In moderation. A skillful author will be able to use them well, even if it is more than Mr. Palahnuik would like.

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February 17, 2015 · 9:24 am

As If It Never Was: What Happens to Writing on the Internet?

We tend to act like once something it put on the internet, it is there forever (and in some cases–most often things we wish weren’t around forever, it seems to be).

But the truth is, online writing is far more erasable and intangible than most other generations of the written word. An article published recently, All My Blogs Are Dead, explains what it can really be like, particularly if you write for other people.

In the article, the blogger explains that he’s written more than 2,000 blog posts since 2009… but there’s no evidence of them at all. The sites he wrote for, in a string of freelance positions, have all ceased to exist or were purposely overwritten. Poof. There went his whole career and all the examples of his work.

When I was in college, the internet was just really starting to take hold and make its presence known. Professors were distressed by the idea that a story might never actually be put on physical paper. Our clipbooks–compendiums of our work used to earn our final grade–had to be painstakingly cut out of the print newspapers and glued in for final presentations. No internet print-outs were acceptable. (I wonder what they have them do now; they’ve switched the school to internet-first publishing…) We were advised to save the URL of any articles we wrote, as well as the HTML, so at least we’d have proof that we published something, somewhere.

I’ve since switched overwhelmingly to PDFs when I want to document work I’ve done for a blog or site or other internet project, but it’s still distressing to think that my work could be so thoroughly wiped from existence. I imagine I’d have to do the same with any fiction work. (I wonder, would I need to print that out, too?)

Bloggers in particular are susceptible to this problem: if you stop paying for your blog space, stop updating for a long time, your blog could just vanish into the void. I know I’m not backing up each post as I go…what would happen to all that writing?

Do you think about this kind of problem? What do you do to protect the longevity of your work?

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February 12, 2015 · 9:20 am

Writing Despite The Bills

A recent piece on Salon highlighted one of the murky secrets of the writing life: who is paying the bills?

The piece, provocatively titled “‘Sponsored’ by my husband” (and the response “The price I pay to write“) discusses one of the topics a Southerner just isn’t supposed to discuss: finances. The first discusses how hard it was to try to have a regular life while also writing; the author is only able to currently manage hers because she married someone whose salary is “hefty.” The second piece has an infatuation with the HBO show girls but at least is taking a crack at working 9-to-5 while also being a writer.

But the nitty-gritty is one of the cruxes of a writing career: you still need something to eat, somewhere to sleep, and probably (at least in America) health care of some kind. Where ya gonna get that?

In the first article, Ann Bauer points out that several authors recently published talk like they’ve done it all themselves but really benefited either from inherited money or deep familial connections.

I practically swooned with jealousy: undeniably, both would help me a great deal. Particularly the connections—since getting an agent/publisher/people with purse strings to pay attention to you is the first obstacle to publication.

But the “having enough money to live off of” is a huge component, too. I talked about this when Hugh Howey, of Wool fame, first hit the radar. Yes he worked hard, yes he is more workaday than a millionaire, but he also had a wife who was mostly able to support them while he took a low-paying part-time bookselling job to give himself time to write. That is a huge luxury (and, luckily for them, it paid off big time.).

At conferences and online, I see a lot more of the kind of writer I am: fitting writing around everything else. And that kind of juggling is trying, at times. I have a full-time job, a spouse with a job he finds rewarding but which won’t pay the bills alone, a part-time career as a freelance editor, AND I have written three books I’m working on getting published. I’ve said it before: how exactly am I supposed to do those things and actually have a life of any kind? It feels overwhelming.

(Side note: I think a bunch of people who cater to authors are taking advantage, selling “must-have” products that “guarantee” success. They disgust me; I hope the people buying those products are independently wealthy.)

However, I have made my choice in how to get money to live while also being a writer. While, sure, I’d love to win the lottery next month or something, I don’t think I’d ever feel comfortable being “sponsored” by my husband or another patron; we are partners, and it is my responsibility to carry my weight in our relationship, financially, in the household, and otherwise. One of the main reasons I have an editing side business is that I can feel confident using the resulting income to pay for resources in my own publishing dreams (also, it is SUCH a kick to see a book I’ve edited actually go on sale. Some have even won wards!).

For me, the juggling is worth it, even if it’s challenging at times. I need to feel like I’m helping my family forward, even if that means my books don’t churn out as quickly. That’s a choice I’ve made.

What about you? How do you manage your household while writing? Do you wish you could do it differently?

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February 3, 2015 · 9:35 am

Neil Gaiman on the Origin of Ideas

What would happen if a werewolf bit a goldfish?

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January 29, 2015 · 9:00 am

Taxes For Writers

It’s almost tax time–time for writers and editors to circle up and figure out what the heck they owe the government! Yay!

Seriously, I know it’s not the most fun part of being a creative individual, but it’s an obligation-to-society thing. I know a lot of beginning writers/editors/freelancers just try to dodge the taxman entirely, but this is a) not doing your social obligation and b) likely to bite you in the butt later on if you do strike it rich…they’ll find ya.

So it’s better to just be on top of it from the beginning, yes? Before we go any further, allow me to clarify that I am NOT a tax expert in any way, shape, or form–I’m just a regular Jane who has to pay these taxes, too. And I know I was completely overwhelmed (and did it wrong) when I started.

If you read this list and it applies to you, it would probably be a good idea to talk to a tax professional and/or to read a helpful DIY guide (I learned a lot from My So-Called Freelance Life).

  • Self-Employed: If you are earning money as a writer or editor, you need to list yourself as “self-employed” and pay self-employment tax. You can even do this on years you didn’t bring in any money; this can give you a discount for some things (but don’t do it too often; it’ll increase the chances you’ll be audited).
    • You must pay self-employment tax if you make more than $400 a year through your business. In other words, most people probably owe self-employment taxes.
    • Write down every time you get paid for your work. How much, who from, and when. I have a spreadsheet that I use both to keep track of my work-in-progress and who has paid me what.
    • Set aside 25-30% of the money you earn and tuck it away in a savings account. (Which figure you choose has to do with your income bracket…and whether you’d rather accidentally overpay–and get a rebate check–or underpay and pay in come April 15. Personally, the 30% figure gives me more peace of mind, so that’s what I do.)
    • As a self-employed person, you have to pay estimated taxes quarterly, or risk being fined (the interest). This seems really unfair and scary if you’re used to a regular desk job–hey, why I gotta pay FOUR times?–but the reason is that your accounting department is paying the company taxes every month, so, since you’re being considered a business of one, you’re also expected to pay in regularly. To do so, you need the form 1040-ES, a Social Security number, and a check. (Here’s the info from the IRS.) You’ll pay in April 15, June 16, Sept. 15, and January 15.
      • If you’ve planned ahead, this totally won’t matter: you’ll have those owed taxes tucked away in that savings account, earning interest on your behalf. It’s easy enough to just withdraw that amount owed four times a year.
  • Discounts: The good news is, if you’re listed as self-employed and paying in what you owe, you can also get some tax breaks! For example:
    • Home Office: if you work in a designated part of your home, you can take a tax write-off for your rent/mortgage cost. You’ll measure the square footage and that percentage of your house is for your work, so you’ll get a little break there. All you have to have are basic supplies: a desk, a computer, paper, whatever. But you really do have to have a office set up.
    • Supplies: Bought a new pen for book signings? That’s a write-off! Paper and envelopes to mail in manuscripts? Keep the receipts and that’s a write-off! You can list the business expenses during a year, just like a big business would, and get a tax break. This can even include things such as a new outfit for cons (I met one person who dressed up as a steampunk character for books signings. Yup, her costume was a write-off!).
    • Car Miles: This probably has less effect for the most home-bound of us, but if you drive around for your business (and keep very good records) you can count the miles driven and gas paid as business expenses, further lowering your tax burden! For example, you may drive a lot for meetings with book clubs as you promote your book: track all those miles and you’ll have a discount you can take!
    • Gifts: There are rules about gifts, but basically, if your business gifts a business contact a gift, you can write off the entire cost! Those chocolates at Christmas that you sent to your editor are now helping you!

Paying taxes as a writer or editor is a little more complicated than your typical desk-job paperwork, but it doesn’t have to be a bad thing! While writing those quarterly checks can sometimes seem painful, I’ve kept good records of my business work in general and I typically get a bigger rebate at the end of the year than I expected…which is money I can safely put right back into my business.

All it takes to be a law-abiding taxpaying writer is a bit of record-keeping and awareness. (Besides, everyone who pays you more than $600 is also required to put that on their taxes…so they’re reporting your earnings one way or another!) The best tax-defense is a good offense: perhaps it’s time you made an appointment with an accountant?

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Video

‘Do a Lot of Work’: Ira Glass on the Creative Process

You’ve probably seen this before, but if not, this is a great reminder: sometimes you have to work through crap in order to work toward greatness. Just keep going.

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January 27, 2015 · 9:57 am
January 6, 2015 · 9:48 am

Authors, Stop Your Blogging

It’s that time of year where everything is fresh and cold and you think, “yes, this time I shall do it! Really!”
Well, authors, allow me to help you strike something off your list of intended resolutions: forget about blogging.
Maybe it seems disingenuous for me–who has had this blog for over two years, with two posts minimum a week–to say that. But I’m just trying to keep you from the treacherous path I was put on. (Save yourselves!)
When I started this blog, it was partially because I liked the habit of it and wanted a place to say things. But it was ALSO because everyone at the time, via other blogs, how-to-get-published books, authors on Twitter, and people I met at conferences, everyone said a blog was essential for a writer wanting to be published.
Why? To “gain a following” and “demonstrate your niche.”
Frankly, that honestly isn’t that good a reason to start a blog. So I’m going to talk you out of it.
Reasons You Should Not Blog
1. It’s hard. Particularly if you’re the kind of person who is frequently setting resolutions and then abandoning them. The number one thing about a blog is consistency: posting regularly, preferably about your niche subject matter. And that, honestly, is hard to do. Ostensibly this blog was supposed to be focused on finding the audience who would be into choose-your-own-adventure zombie novels for adults. I don’t know about you, but I have limited interest and motivation in spending all my time coming up with CYOA/zombie posts.
2. You can’t let up. You’ve got to write stuff all the time. Something big happening at work? You can’t stop blogging. Got married and left the country for more than a week? Better work extra hard so you have posts happen while you’re not there. Having a bad day? Suck it up, cupcake, and write another blog post.
It’s like resolving to go to the gym, every week. Ok, sure; you can probably do it for awhile, but eventually, it’s going to get hard…then what?
3. No one wants to read your stories. I know, I know; you want to disregard this because people WILL want to read your stories when they discover how BRILLIANT you are. Maybe so. It’s certainly happened before. But a lot more aspiring authors put out works that a) they’d rather sell for money rather than giving it away for free or b) aren’t really finished or polished yet. You just shoot yourself in the foot with the first and you can lose credibility with the second. By and large, people who are browsing stuff online are looking for something to help them–why should they want to help you?
4. You’d rather work on the stuff you want to get formally published. If you don’t want to blog…don’t blog! You’ll have more time and more creative energy for the stuff you really want to work on.
5. It won’t get you a platform/audience. Admittedly, it has happened sometimes. But from what I can see, the authors for whom blogging created a platform already had things published.* Rather than being a place to gather a prospective audience, the blog becomes a place for the existing audience to congregate. That’s a big difference. *Exception: Food blogs. Man, I’ve seen more food blogs become cookbooks than anything else. That seems to be a recipe for success (har har). However, that’s also a ridiculously crowded marketplace, so you have to really stand out.
Now, if you still want to blog after all that…go ahead. It can be fun. It can be nice to communicate with other authors, to push the boundaries of your abilities, to have physical proof that you’ve been doing something productive. Just don’t believe a lot of the notions put out there as “must dos.”
The worst thing you could do, really, is to start a blog… and then peter out, leaving it to die on the vine, forgotten but still ranking high on Google for your pen name. So if you start a blog and decide it’s not working as you wish, be sure to close it out, too.
Good luck in 2015.

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December 30, 2014 · 9:30 am

Fisherman Jack

My grandfather recently passed away, quite suddenly and unexpectedly. I’ve had trouble expressing my feelings about it. But I did write this, in honor of him.

 

Fisherman Jack

There once was a man who liked to fish. He’d sit on the pier with a rod and a reel and coax silvery fish up out of the water. He’d stand hip-deep in frothy streams and fool whiskered, muddy fish with clever lures and intricate flicks of the wrist. By boat, he explored dark wallows and mysterious shadowed rivers. Jack was a man who liked to fish.

He took his sons out with him to the water and taught them the ways, the lines and the tricks. With his first son he traveled in a small dingy, the water rocking them along the river’s rocky bottom, so close beneath them. Jack taught his eldest son to sit quietly, to watch for the dark shadows. They baited hooks with writhing worms pulled from rich-smelling dirt and brought in crappie, bass, and brown trout. As they carried home their haul, Jack smiled and said, “That sure was a good day’s fishing, but I think there may be better.”

Later Jack took his second son out. Together they waded deep into chilly mountain waters. They arched their lines out overhead, landing lures lightly on the water’s shining surface. Jack showed his second son how to move the line, skipping like a fly. After a long day’s contest, they brought home their trout, walleye, and salmon, proud as could be. With a smile, Jack said, “That was a good day’s fishing, but I’ve heard there is better yet.”

With his third son, Jack took out the trawler loaded with gizmos, all the latest. He let the lad steer and showed him how the equipment found the fish in their shadowed depths. Together they drew the fish out of the murky dark and into the clear light of their shining, wonderful boat. Laden with fish, Jack smiled and said, “That was a good day’s catch, but I hear there’s one better. I’ll fish it, one day.”

The years wore on, and still Jack fished. He explored raging rivers and clear still waters; he plucked giants from backwood streams and sunk his line in ocean swells. He tried the great Mississippi and hiked through Yosemite. He stood under the big skies in Montana and on the muddy banks of Lake Pontchartrain. Everywhere he fished, he smiled and said, “There’s better yet to come.”

Jack’s visits to the water slowed as time ticked by. He taught his grandchildren how to bait his hooks and cast the reel; he was as pleased to scoop a minnow as a meal. He’d smile and say, “There’s yet one more I’ve yet to fish. The time is coming soon that I’ll try it.”

He hugged his dear wife and said goodbye to his sons as he packed his rod and reel. With a smile, Jack said, “I’m goin’ fishing, oh Lord. I know the way now.” He leaned back and let fly his hook, up up into that great big blue above. The hook caught, and Jack wound the reel. He fought as best he could, making it a fair challenge, pulling down against the upward tug, but knew this was his big catch. Up he went, caught by the Fisher of men, reeled just like those fish he’d caught through the years.

But Jack was not troubled. Elated, he grinned as he went up, pulled gently along. “Hallelujah,” he said, “I’m the best catch of all!”

 

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December 16, 2014 · 9:03 am

What is the Point of a Thank-You?

While perusing the internet last week, I encountered a discussion about thank-you notes (on the inimitable Reddit). It was a suggestion that parents teach kids to write thank-you notes for their gifts, to foster a spirit of gratefulness when the kids are small.

It seemed pretty facile to me: write thank you notes, it’s polite. Easy enough, right?

And yet the responses to this suggestion were overwhelmingly “NOPE.”

Commenters went on and on about how it was just teaching kids to lie, how it was an out-of-date custom, how it’s just a form of parental extortion (write the note OR ELSE!), how nobody likes receiving those annoying formulaic notes anyhow, and can’t you just tell someone you liked their gift? Or, better yet, just keep sending presents and don’t you worry about whether or not I even liked it. Gimmie.

I was raised in a write-your-note-or-else house, and I’ve been pretty well indoctrinated. When I met my now-husband’s parents for the second time, they commented on how I’d written them thank-you notes…and how it made them feel guilty for not doing them. After writing the heap of notes for my wedding gifts, I’ve even developed a bit of a reputation as a writer of “great thank-you notes” (gee, exactly what I want to be known for).

So I fall pretty hard on the thank-you-note-writing side of the line.

I found myself wondering: am I making everyone uncomfortable by sending these notes, these notes I have been writing because I was taught that it was just the done thing, that I was a rude and ungrateful brat if I didn’t?

I took a poll of some friends and got a mixed bag: definitely for some occasions a note is welcome, getting mail that isn’t a bill is a nice thing, and a few “oops, I totally should have written that one.”

I admit one of the prime reasons I write thank-you notes is because I love getting mail. Physical mail, I heart you. I’m always thrilled to get something interested, something unexpected. It’s like mini-Christmas, every day of the year. (I seriously have a Birchbox just because I like to get the mail…)

I guess I agree with some of the complaints in the no-thank-you side: I think it’s weird when I get hand-written, formulaic thank-you notes from my mom via post office when I see her every week. And I think writing thank-you notes after a funeral gift is ridiculous and unfairly burdensome on the mourning, who have enough going on. I hate getting the literal fill-in-the-blank notes from little kids–or worse, the really-you’re-too-old-for-this teens (“Dear M.E., Thank you for the _____ I really loved it! Signed, Annoying Teenager”).

But all in all, I’m in favor of the thank-you note. Particularly because I don’t have much opportunity to see many of my friends and family right now; we live pretty far apart and see each other maybe once a year. The note is a way of saying “hey, you’re sweet to remember me! I got your gift! Also, I miss you.”

If it makes me outdated to like that, I guess I’m just going to have to be a bit musty, I suppose.

Where do you fall on thank-you notes: lovely courtesy or forced false gratitude?

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December 2, 2014 · 9:09 am

A Choose Your Own Obituary

A man whom I’ve never met but to whom I owe a debt has passed away: R.A. Montgomery, pioneer of the “Choose Your Own Adventure” kid’s book series that is at least partially to blame for my own adult zombie choose-your-own-adventure-style book, Undead Rising. Like just about every other kid who has run across them, I loved those books, and his career–and the way he was heavily involved in his work, even having a stake in all of the 230 books published in the line.

While I and a great many other child readers were sad to hear of Mr. Montgomery’s passing, we were also a little disappointed in his official obituary, because it isn’t in the iconic format he pioneered. Seeing as I have experience both in writing obituaries (which are, by the way, strangely pleasant to write: it’s all the best parts of a person’s life) and in writing gamebooks, I thought I’d give it a shot in revising it.

With complete respect and gratitude for this innovator, I present a revised Choose Your Own Obituary.

Raymond Almiran Montgomery, original publisher and author of the incredibly popular Choose Your Own Adventure book series for children, died in his home in Warren, Vermont, on Sunday, November 9. He was 78 years old. But Mr. Montgomery had a life full of adventures, including:

an illustrious educational career
solving challenging puzzles
world travels
Jump ahead to the parts about CYOA, because you don’t like reading much about obituaries, even Choose-Your-Own-Adventure ones.

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