‘Radio’ for the Elderly: What’s the Next Step?

I have an idea for a product that needs to exist. It sounds like it is perfect for a Kickstarter, and I know it would help a lot of people…but I have no idea how to get it produced. So–I’m hoping someone out there can help me?

I want to make a “radio” for elderly patients.

Here’s the story: my grandfather has Alzheimer’s and has been getting worse lately. The retirement home he and my grandmother live in is far from family (they picked it, years ago) and especially far from my family. Whereas other family members could just drive over and visit, it’s a long, expensive flight for me. But I still want to do something to help.

I decided I wanted to buy him a music player, load it up with music from his youth, and give it to him. Music has incredible powers, helping access parts of our memories that we otherwise can’t find.

You’ve probably seen the video of Henry on YouTube. If you haven’t, it’s here below. Careful, it’s a tearjerker:

My grandfather isn’t as bad off as Henry was, but he will be soon. He gets confused and doesn’t know where he is. He gets afraid. I thought music, even if it didn’t bring him back to us, would at least lift his spirits.

But I was missing a crucial ingredient: I can’t go to his nursing home, put the headphones on him, turn it on. And the nursing staff can’t be relied upon to do that; they have other jobs. My grandmother is there, and could help, but the new technology is too confusing for her, and the buttons are small.

This is what I needed:

  • something I could pre-load with music
  • large volume controls and an on/off switch
  • speakers, and maybe a headphone jack for over-the-ear headphones
  • a cord that plugs into the wall
  • relatively inexpensive (we have some fears about his belonging being stolen)
  • preferably something that looks superficially familiar to him, like an old-style radio

I’ve looked and looked for months, but I can’t find something that met those requirements. I’ve found a lot of “almosts,” but most radios have a lot of extra buttons or settings, and I am afraid he would accidentally switch or change my presettings and not have music.

I think this is a product that needs to exist; I’d have paid a lot of money to buy one if it already did. I don’t know how to produce a product like that, but it would bring such comfort to the families of Alzheimer’s patients, and joy to the patients themselves. For people in private rooms or apartments, like my grandfather, a little stereo clearly labeled “on/off” that he could potentially work by himself would be ideal.

My grandfather turns 89 this weekend. I would love to give him the gift of music.

Can anyone help? If you know of how to get something like this, please let me know. If you have suggestions to build one, heck, I’ll learn to solder if it would help me give this gift to my grandfather.

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Self-Published Authors Make a “Living” From Sales

This isn’t a great article–it doesn’t give much new information–but I thought I’d share it to show how the changing publishing marketplace is making headlines even outside of writers’ circles.

Five years ago, printing your own book was stigmatized and was seen as a mark of failure.

“But now,” says Dana Beth Weinberg, a sociologist at Queens College who is studying the industry, “the self-published authors walk into the room, and they say, oh, well, ‘I made a quarter million dollars last year, or $100,000, or made $10,000.’ And it is still more than what some of these authors are making with their very prestigious contracts.”

Weinberg says there is still a strong financial case to be made for publishing books the old-fashioned way, but there are now many well-known independent authors who have made a fortune self-publishing online.

You can read the whole article here.

I’m not sure what to believe, and it looks like there isn’t really clear data either way. (Here’s what I know about writers’ rates by type of publication, though.)  It’s still such a smoke-and-mirrors, get-lucky business. What do y’all think?

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Women, Money & Work: It’s 2014 and We’re Still Talking About This

Partially because of the publishing fuss with Amazon and because I just read a Dave Ramsey book, I’ve had money on the brain. Maybe that’s why these two articles caught my attention: When the Boss Says ‘Don’t Tell Your Coworkers How Much You Get Paid’ from the Atlantic, and Why Some Men Still Think Women Shouldn’t Work from BusinessWeek.

Both articles are about reasons women are disadvantaged in the workforce, and it’s pretty disturbing, because…well, basically there isn’t much I, as an individual, can do about it. And it sucks.

The Atlantic piece argues that bosses illegally restricting employee’s work-related conversations–in this case, about how much money they make–throttles the workforce (duh), but especially women and minorities, who may never find out they are being underpaid/overworked without those kinds of conversations.

The BusinessWeek article says women with male bosses whose wives don’t work should be particularly worried about being underpaid, because men in “traditional” male-as-breadwinner/wife-at-home families are distinctly less likely to feel like a woman should work at all!

I’ve experienced both, though I don’t know–of course–whether either has directly impaired my career trajectory. I didn’t actually know that it was illegal for bosses to tell employees not to share information about their salaries (so that’s good to know for the future), but it has definitely happened a few times. Then again, here in the South, money is one of the big topics you just don’t discuss. Even when I’ve wanted to know, or had a hunch, I wouldn’t know how to start that conversation.

But I am absolutely sure it is true that employees not having a gauge for what a reasonable salary is is one of the things that keeps people from earning a fair wage.

I also had a job with a company whose owner really, really liked “traditional” (ie. patriarchial and restrictive) family values. They talked a good talk about being a “family” and wanting to support everyone, but it was hard not to notice that pregnant employees departed (seemingly by choice) and there seemed to be progressively fewer women in the office. His wife didn’t work, of course, and neither did the wives of most of the managers. It is fascinating and sickening how easily the idea that women shouldn’t or can’t work can spread and contaminate a workplace just because the boss is one of the 20% of privileged families that can have a spouse (ok, woman) stay home all the time.

I have a feeling that, in both cases, something like this was a part of my treatment at those jobs. Nothing tangible though. That’s how it is with these subtle things.

Sometimes we want to blame something more concrete for problems like this, like “women don’t ask for raises enough” or “women opt out of their careers” or “women pick careers that lead to less money.” And those may be factors, too. But I think it would be wrong to completely overlook these passive, small, highly persuasive factors that can impede someone’s success just because of perceptions deeply ingrained in the structure of our society.

What do you think? Do factors outside of our control impede the progress of women/minorities in the workforce?

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And They Lived Happily Ever After. The End?

As repeat readers may know, I just got married. And, as you may have noticed, I can overthink things.

Major life shift + tendency to overthink = lots of thoughts, it turns out.

The definition of marriage is the subject of a great deal of controversy in this country right now, as is whether the institution is even worth it. I admit that a few weeks ago, I felt like the ceremony and the piece of paper wasn’t going to change anything about my relationship: I felt seriously, emotionally, religiously, bonded to my other half already. What did it really matter if we had governmental approval or not?

But then we got married, in a beautiful and meaningful ceremony followed by a dance party with friends from all parts of our lives, and we moved in together, and we’ve merged bank accounts and his books are in my bookshelves and we’re talking about what we should have for dinner every night. In other words, even though I can’t tell you exactly why, it feels different.

Which is where the overthinking comes in: I don’t know how to be a wife.

I mean, I went into this thinking being a wife was pretty much the same as being a girlfriend, except we’ve made it permanent. But now that I’m in it, now that I have this feeling, it seems like there’s something different. And I don’t know how to do it, to be it.

And then I thought: Happily Ever After. The stories stop. The story is all about getting to the prince, ending with the poofy white dress and the wedding bells, pan up to the castle and assume that’s all anyone needs to know.

And not even just the fairy tales. The modern movies are all about the chase; when the love interest is found, the meet-cute is over, finito.

And that seems to be true in life, too, at least to an extent: I worked on a book a few weeks ago that was based on the author’s grandmother’s real-life story. It was interesting and exciting through her childhood and youth…and then she got married. The first 20 years of her life took up 80% of the book; after the wedding, the last sixty years of her life made up a paltry 20% of the book.

So one night I panicked. I asked my husband(!): “Is this it? Is my story over?! I don’t want my story to be over!”

Even though I know, in my rational brain, that being married doesn’t have to mean everything stops, that the achievements get dusty and forgotten on the shelf, it feels that way. Most of the stories about marriage are about cheating, or almost cheating: not something to want. The stories with seemingly good marriages in them are about the kids–I’m not even ready to start that conversation yet.

Am I reading the wrong books, here? Or is marriage always too boring to be written about–meaning that any excitement or achievements or forward motion is something I’ll have to produce on my own, pushing past the inertia of knowing whom I’m coming home to every night? Why, if our society supposedly values marriage so much, is there not a plethora of stories to teach us how to be good husbands and wives?

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A Complete Listing of the Gods in ‘American Gods’

Keep this link handy the next time you pick up Neil Gaiman’s “American Gods”: it’s a complete list of all the gods mentioned, interacted with, or referred to in the novel (even theories on who “the forgotten god” may be).

It’s a hobby site, and a damned impressive one at that. Even Neil said so, and the Hill House edition of the novel even came with a paper version of the site. That’s some great research!

If you haven’t read “American Gods,” I think you should. It’s a challenging book, and, in my opinion, a great example of the way fantasy can mingle with literary fiction. It isn’t for everyone, though. But if you do read it, this incredible site will help you muddle through all the gods. Gaiman pulled from all sorts of mythologies to create the book, and it’s pretty hard to wrap your head around all of it.

Anyway, a really cool research project that I appreciated and hope to utilize when I read the book again.

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Review: Dave Ramsey’s Complete Guide to Money

Dave Ramsey's Complete Guide to Money: The Handbook of Financial Peace UniversityDave Ramsey’s Complete Guide to Money: The Handbook of Financial Peace University by Dave Ramsey

My rating: 3 of 5 stars

If you’re unsure about how to manage money, or have already made some big mistakes and are trying to recover, or just want to brush up on some obscure things, this book will likely help you out.

HOWEVER…it has its flaws, despite the enthusiastic baying of many of Ramsey’s constituents.

I received this book as a very well-intentioned gift to help my new husband and I get our marriage started on the right foot. I’m already persnickety about how I manage my money, so I may not be the ideal audience for this book, but as much as I read about personal finance, I figure there is always room for a little more knowledge.

I did find it practical. Ramsey uses folksy analogies and down-to-earth language to explain the sometimes high-falutin’ financial language that can be a barrier. His strategies are fundamentally simple: don’t be in debt, save money before you buy something. He has undoubtedly helped many people find a workable strategy to put themselves on a path to financial security, and that is to be commended.

But I found parts of the book deeply distasteful. My concerns:

It’s Self-Serving.
You’ve probably heard of Dave Ramsey by now. He has a radio show, a whole series of classes and DVDs, and several books. This book aims to make sure you know who he is–the appearance of his name TWICE on the front cover, as well as the plug-in for his class “Financial Peace University,” is just another way to build his personal brand.

Now, that may be unavoidable–it is a self-help book, after all–but the repeated references back to Ramsey’s personal products, other books, and stuff he’s selling started to make me feel like I was at a flea market (want this? How about this? No? Well, you definitely need one of these!). Ramsey’s a smart marketer; if he can get his hooks into you with this book, he hopes you’ll buy everything he’s ever made.

He Doesn’t Think Much of Women
I’m sure if you spoke to Ramsey–and he seems like a very affable and likeable guy–he would insist that he loves women and that I’m crazy for suggesting this, but his own book would be great evidence against him. Ramsey may like women well enough, but the book repeatedly takes a “that’s nice, little lady” tone. Women are called out repeatedly based on negative female stereotypes–“stop shopping ladies!”–and reminded that they are best in the home with the kids, whereas men are repeatedly held up as the providers, the “real men” who “take care of their families,” the ones who are the responsible ones.

Even when he praises women (mostly via his wife) he is slighting them with more aw-shucks patronizing: following an apocryphal tale of President George H.W. Bush wherein Barbara supposedly gets the upper-hand, Ramsey discusses the way decisions are made in his family–he makes decisions and “if I’m not careful, I’ll just roll right over her when it’s time to make a decision. It’s not that she doesn’t want to contribute…”

Let me finish the line for him: it’s that he’s already made up his mind and his wife’s vote isn’t as important.

This is further shown in his advice, including that married couples have one bank account and one only. That may work out very well for some people, and the more power to them, but having one bank account and no money of their own is one of the most common ways women end up poor: husband leaves, takes all the money and there is nothing in her name (or, she wants to leave, husband takes all the money, etc.) I feel strongly that both spouses need some way to access at least some money without involving the other.

Evangelical
Ramsey does a good job of talking to the reader as if you are just like him. Which is great, and is a sign of excellent persuasive writing! Except. Ramsey is an evangelical Christian, and you may want to avoid this book if you aren’t as well.

Even though I’m a Christian, I must not be the same variety as Ramsey. I felt that I was being beaten over the head with the Bible every other page for awhile there.

And while I am happy that folks have a spiritual life they can tend and enrich themselves with, Ramsey doesn’t even cater to the idea that you may not be the same. The chapter on giving never mentions how to give to charity except through your church. Further, his example about giving exorbitant tips to waitresses on Christmas Eve fell flat with me. He says the only reason a waitress might work that day is because she really needs the money. Well, Dave, I came up with a few other reasons:
-Her boss won’t let her have the day off, and while she doesn’t need the money so much this month, she needs long-term job security, and that means she doesn’t get to pick.
-She’s Jewish/Muslim/Buddhist/FSM-ist and doesn’t celebrate Christmas.
-She’s Christian, but is celebrating Christmas in two weeks because that’s when her family can all get together.
-She thinks she’ll get extra tips from the travelers desperate for a meal on Christmas Eve. And besides, it’s generally quiet.

Four reasons I just thought off on the spot! Not everyone is the same as you, man.

Additionally, as an intellectual-type person, it is useless to me when he provides a Bible verse as the reason why I should do something. Sorry, I want evidence. History has shown that Bible verses can be made to fit just about any situation.

Anathema to Debt or Help
This is tricky, because I almost agree with him here, but he takes it to extremes that I find uncomfortable. Ramsey repeatedly insinuates that money should not come to people from the government, and further suggests that putting “burdens” on wealthy people will “make the golden eggs dry up.” I see your Trickle-Down Economics at work, sir. Let’s just say I disagree and found his mixing of politics with finances when it isn’t needed.

But further than that, he is completely 100% opposed to debt. On paper, I agree with him: debt is not a positive, and, particularly for people struggling under a mountain of debt problems, his strategies will be effective. But I think it’s short-sighted.

Debt, in my opinion, is like a pit bull: Sure, it can be awful, but it can also be useful tool when used properly. Much like a pit bull can be one of the meanest fighting dogs out there in the hands of an abusive animal, debt can turn on you quick. But a pit bull well cared-for and attended to will be the sweetest dog in the neighborhood.

I think his “no debt at all” view is problematic in particular for young people. Ramsey’s quite a bit older than me, so perhaps he doesn’t remember, but having zero credit history (yes, that means zero history of debt) will make it hard to get: an apartment to rent; a job (they sometimes check the scores); a car; and, eventually, a mortgage on a house. Zero credit history is treated the same as bad credit history, and refusing to teach people how to handle credit responsibly means young people who end up in a bad spot. Additionally, his “pay cash for everything” strategy is an effective way to get him something else he rails against: kids coming back after college.

One of the things that most upset me in this book was a story from a reader about how her son was going to school, the Dave Ramsey way! It is featured as an example of doing things right, and it hit me like a brick. In this story, a boy works hard in school, gets several scholarships, and his parents have saved money for some of his tuition for college…but it’s not enough. Because they are following Ramsey’s preachings, they don’t get a loan of any kind, but instead pull their son out of college. He was already accepted, but he is forced to withdraw (wiping out, by the way, all that prepaid tuition money).

He goes to community college (which has a drop-out rate of well over 50% right now) and then…drops out after one semester and joins the Navy. The story was submitted before the boy finished, but supposedly he was working on college classes while he was in the Navy. (This story is on page 251)

This story just breaks my heart. It’s not a triumph. This kid was on a path to go to a good school in his state, but his parents dropped him rather than let him take on a loan. As a result, he is working on a ship somewhere far from home. I have a dear friend who went to the Navy, and…it’s not easy. It wasn’t this kid’s real choice. He learned that his parents won’t support him in his future. I feel sorry for him.

The mom says “saying no to college was hard, but it turned out to be a good thing.” Yeah. A good thing FOR HER.

Mistakes
I found copy editing mistakes a few times, which always makes me leery, but then I found a glaring error of fact, which scares me more–a book is a big investment, so the time should be put in accordingly. When it isn’t, it makes me worry about the rest of the content (the mistake is this: Ramsey cites the New King James Bible as the “first in the English language.” It wasn’t. It’s the third, and was created not as a way for folks to access scripture but as a political move to consolidate a divided country.)

In Sum…
This book has exceptionally good advice to help people get out of debt and establish new patterns. It’s written for those who don’t know much of anything about financial planning or organization. The basics are sound, and I found the chapters on insurance and investing basics to be the most informative and helpful. I also like that it comes with budget worksheets in the back.

That said, this book is not for everyone. And I would say that it–and all the rest of the Ramsey brand–absolutely should not be the exclusive place you get advice.

It comes down to what you value. My impression is Ramsey values money (the having, and the dispensing of it) above all else. In order to have money, he advocates sacrificing time, personal interests, sleep, a diverse diet, and educational opportunities for your children. Me? My values are a little different than his. Take his advice, therefore, with a grain of salt.

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Money, Money, Money: Amazon vs. Publishers

For a writer on the sidelines (*ahem* not yet published, I mean), it’s an interesting time. Self-publish, indie publish, Amazon CreateSpace, imprints, university presses, Big Five… it’s sort of a mess right now. The Amazon-Hatchette showdown is definitely the matchup to keep an eye on right now: worst, I don’t even know what side, if any, I’m on.

If you haven’t been keeping up with the news, Amazon–the big gorilla in the current publishing market, dominating ebooks, self-published, and even books published more or less traditionally under their imprint–is duking it out with Hatchette, publishing’s fourth-largest company. We don’t know for certain what they are fighting about… well, we know they’re fighting about money. But we don’t have details.

Some folks have guessed that Amazon wanted to own 50% of every book sold, instead of 30%. That’s a big price hike, particularly in an industry that hasn’t been doing that great. (But, says Amazon, most of your customers are buying from us anyway. Without us, you will fail.) Because Hatchette didn’t budget, Amazon has been slowing down the deliveries of customer orders.

This tactic may have backfired, however; authors big and small, including the likes of Stephen King, got together to sign a petition against Amazon, complaining this tactic is anti-consumer (and anti-author). Amazon lashed out, saying Hatchette was using authors as “human shields.” (Woah now.) [Hugh Howey and Chuck Wendig have also both weighed in, on opposing sides of the debate, despite being published by Amazon.]

The big publishers (and especially the small publishers) say they can’t afford any more fees, that Amazon is a near-monopoly and a “bully.” Amazon claims the publishers don’t treat their authors well enough, that they can’t keep up with the times, that they are an obstacle to affordable and accessible literature, and basically just need to put up or shut up.

I…don’t know what should happen. Amazon’s demands do seem extreme to me, and I am deeply concerned with the idea in which Amazon were the only “publisher” left. It also alarms me that Amazon might one day turn on their authors; perhaps they’ll have a bot they think can churn out better fiction? And then they’ll see no need for us. Then again, I think traditional publishers don’t do enough for their authors anymore (both in support and in money). [Here’s the chart featuring how much in royalties you can make in different formats.]

I’m still on the fence about my publishing path, but I have recently been leaning ever-closer to self-publishing. It’s not a free and easy path, however; just different.

What do y’all think of the recent controversy between Amazon and the publishers?

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Review: Sick Puppy

Sick PuppySick Puppy by Carl Hiaasen

My rating: 1 of 5 stars

Other folks declared this book hilarious, incredible, a great send-up… me, I couldn’t finish it. The sad, horrible truth is I literally found it more interesting to listen to the numbers being called at the Social Security office than to try to read this book. (To be fair, though, they’re experimenting with cat videos! Cat videos!)

I guess I just don’t get it. I gave up, but I gave it a decent effort. It just refused to hold my attention. And I found the characters too cardboard-cutout to be remotely funny. Everyone is ridiculous to the extreme. Not only is the environmentalist so pro-environment that he shares a tent with a bobcat, he also is sufficiently crazy to blow up a bank (here’s a problem: I actually found his rationalization for bank-exploding perfectly reasonable and rational and not at all a sign of instability. Hmm.). The “bad guy” is not only a gross capitalist with no morals or regard for other people, he also cheats on his wife, eats disgusting quantities of food, “hunts” blind deaf rhinos, and litters at every opportunity.

It was like watching one-dimensional characters prance across a foam board in a kindergarten classroom.

This effect was exacerbated by the storytelling style: Hiaasen clearly isn’t a fan of “showing.” Everything was telling. Blah blah blah backstory at random times. Any chance for action was thrown out the window because everything is just declared, never shown directly on stage. It’s basically a play where the actors just stand around monologue-ing.

No thank you. I’ll be putting this Sick Puppy down.

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Review: The Bride Wore Size 12

The Bride Wore Size 12  (Heather Wells #5)The Bride Wore Size 12 by Meg Cabot

My rating: 3 of 5 stars

I admit I’m a little disappointed…but that could be my own fault: it turns out I started a series on #5 (oops) and mistook the author for Jennifer Weiner (my bad). But congrats to Cabot’s marketing team! I picked up the book because of the title and because I had seen posters around, so not a total loss.

So, like I said, I came into this series at exactly the wrong point. But it is charming and fun and a nice little mystery to nibble on.

Basically, for those who are as lost as I was, this book is about Heather Wells, a nice enough girl who is about to get married at the end of the month to her tasty PI boyfriend. She works as a residence hall administrator at a college, and she really just wants to get through to the wedding… but the dead girl messes that all up. So Heather takes time out of her busy schedule to solve a murder, too.

I admit it: I only picked up this book because it had the word “bride” in it and, as a very recently married person, I was hoping to enjoy some fictionalized wedding stress. I wanted to see if all the crazy chaos that went into wedding-planning made it into a book.

…it didn’t. In drips, maybe, but really everything in the title is completely disregarded. Rubbish title, in terms of relating to the story at all. I mean, sure, it is periodically mentioned that “OMG Heather is a BRIDE!” but, let me tell you, I had a lot more panic going on in the month before my wedding, and I was, as my groom put it, not a bride-zilla but bride-chilla.

And I have no idea where the size 12 nonsense came from, aside from once or twice mentioning that Heather enjoys a morning bagel (unnecessary fat-shaming, excellent).

So I hated the title and the book wasn’t at all what I expected, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t like it. It was fun.

I found it particularly interesting to see Cabot’s perspective on working in college administration, something I know about first-hand a bit. It’s not exactly a common career path, so I found that refreshing and interesting.

The murder and related sub-plot was a little transparent for my taste, but this is meant to be light reading, so I can’t fault it too much. Overall I thought it was charming, though I don’t think I care to step back into Heather’s world much more.

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What is Editing?

At its most basic, editing is making changes to a written text. Simple enough, right? And yet, not, because folks have different understandings of when it is okay to make those changes.

Case in point: I once knew a writer-turned-editor who felt “editing” meant she always needed to make a change to the original text, sort of as a way to prove that it had, in fact, been edited. This led to a lot of ridiculous edits, such as the substitution of a word with its synonym: ex. “Clifford the big red dog liked to play” would become “Clifford the enormous red dog enjoyed playing.”

The original meaning of the sentence wasn’t changed or improved at all by those kinds of edits; many of the writers she worked with felt like she was just wasting everyone’s time and was only interested in her own self-aggrandizement.

On the small scale, this kind of substitution editing can be harmless to mildly annoying. On the large scale, it meant the editor was taking a lot of her time completely rewriting copy, without a good reason for it. (When asked, she said, “I thought it sounded better.” That… isn’t a reason to make edits.) Her editing ethos was: “The editor knows best.”

Basically, she was the Loki of editors:

Is there a better way?

I think so. My editing philosophy is: “First, do no harm. Second, make it better without impeding the author’s voice and meaning.”

In other words, it is never my job to make a change just for the sake of making a change. If I were hired to copy edit a piece and I couldn’t find a single mistake, I’d congratulate the author for doing an excellent job (I’d also want to shake their hand, because that’s a feat!).

An editor is really second fiddle to the author. Particularly in the changing publishing marketplace, an editor acts as adviser and clean-up crew–but the author is the boss. When I make edits as a freelancer, I always provide complete transparency, using Word’s Track Changes feature to literally show each and every change. If a change is subjective, I leave a comment explaining my actions. Then it is up to the author to decide which changes to keep and which to disregard.

Editors are powerful, it’s true, but at the end of the day, they–like our pal Loki–are small gods.

Author Hulk here is expressing his feelings toward his overly intrusive editor, Loki.

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